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    1. 今日推荐: 中国小品文大王——黄小平 入驻“天天美文网”!
      您可以通过QQ发大作给我,谢谢!

      人人都劝你低调自律,我倒要请你学会自由放纵,活成自己


      发布于:2019-8-14 阅读:3838人次

      喜欢就分享吧】——0



      ★ 励志语录——第一个青春是上帝给的;第二个的青春是靠自己努力的。 ★


      作者:艾小羊

        作为自律狂人,其实我有非常放纵的一面。

        深夜吃烧烤、和牛、小龙虾,吃到满嘴流油,这样的事,每周都有两次。

        累得像死狗,洗完脸什么护肤品都不擦,倒在床上挺尸,每周起码也有两次。

        偶尔还有改稿改到崩溃,脸都不洗就睡觉的时候。

        跟闺蜜一起出差,半夜在内蒙古的音乐酒吧里吃火锅(为什么音乐酒吧里会有火锅,我也不知道,我也不敢问,但在内蒙古好像很流行),我点了一桌子菜,闺蜜吃到一半投降,以崇敬、敬仰、爱怜的姿态,看着我继续吃。

        我吃到凌晨,她忽然哲学家上身,说:“我知道你为什么能这么多年坚持自律了,因为你对自己的放纵,丝毫没有内疚感,你活得太放松了。”

        她说得没错。

        无论是生活状态还是情感关系,唯有放松才能坚持,最终成为习惯。

        1

        我们经常觉得,自律的人应该活得很紧,不自律的人才活得无比松弛。

        其实恰恰相反。

        心理学研究显示,一切的改变,都建立在接纳自己的基础上,接纳自己,就是一种放松的姿态。

        我认识一个一天到晚想减肥的胖姑娘,她说,每次吃饭都充满罪恶感。我问她,既然这么不快乐,干吗不少吃一点?

        她的回答简直让我惊叹:

        “如果吃少了还这么胖,怎么办?那不就成了基因问题、人品问题?吃得多,长得胖,至少还有个交待,你说是吧!”

        对放纵存有很深的罪恶感,同时,又依恋这种罪恶感,是无法自律的根本原因。并且,这种习惯,会让她越来越自卑。

        当一个人活得很自卑,坏习惯就会成为他们的救命稻草。他们每天进行自我心理建设:只要改掉这个坏习惯,一切都会好起来。

        然而也只是嘴上说说,很难行动。因为害怕真改了,生活并没有好起来;害怕直面自我,害怕退无可退。

        2

        每个人在骨子里,都是既想享受自律带来的红利,又忍不住贪恋放纵的快感。

        好,是后天的教化;坏,则是先天的基因。

        所谓自律,不是全然放掉天性,也不是不食人间烟火,而是在自我教化中,慢慢摸索属于自己的节奏——既爱无敌自律的那个自己,也爱放纵声色的那个自己。在心里,慢慢建立一个信念,就是无论你是风筝还是野马,缰绳永远在自己手里。

        有了这种底气,放纵就不会让你感到自卑、紧张,相反,它是你明天起床去战斗的号角。

        如果你懂得欣赏放纵的自己,就会欣赏自律时的自己。

        放纵的时候,认真快乐;自律的时候,认真流汗。活得弹力十足,才能经受风吹雨打。

        3

        我见过原本坚持健身、节食的人,忽然有一天全线崩溃,开始暴饮暴食。问题出在过度自律、过度辛苦,或者瘦得太快,活得无趣。

        我也见过老实人“老房子失火”,半辈子连暧昧都没有过,忽然不管不顾地跟别人私奔了。原因同样是无法正视自己的欲望,活得过于紧绷,没有出口。

        在自律这件事上,千万不要把一辈子当成一天活。

        自律就是生活本身,是我们的生活方式,有高高低低、起起伏伏,有厌倦,有反复,这才是最真实的自我。

        任何一件事,要坚持,就必须快乐。放纵是自律里的糖,偶尔撒点糖,是对自己负责。

        全球著名奢侈品公司LVMH集团CEO米雷耶·吉利亚诺在《法国女人不会老》一书里写道:法国女人不发胖,因为她们知道心情愉快的秘密。而通往心情愉快的秘密在于培养——不断摸索、尝试,始终快乐地生活。

        无论自律的程度,还是放纵的频率,每个人都不同,需要自己去慢慢摸索。

        自律像一场长跑,不要跟别人比,只要跟自己比;慢慢找到节奏,才能成为越跑越开心的长跑选手。

        作者简介:艾小羊,复杂人生的解局人,品质生活的上瘾者,专治各种不高兴。代表作:《活成自己就好了》。公众号:艾小羊生活会(ID:qimeixiaoyang),微博:有个艾小羊。


          【全文完】


      喜欢就分享吧】——0




      标签: 风景 友情 成长 爱情 生活 坚强 自然 成功 快乐 人文 社会 梦想 读书 职场 生命 人生 心灵 奋斗 感恩 志向 乐观 青春

      评论:

      亮子
      2019-08-24 11:01
      自律即自由,自律同时是可怕的,真正的快乐来源于自律后全身心的自由,做自己才是重要!

      ^ O ^ 元芳,你怎么看?

      吉林快三app
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