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    1. 今日推荐: 中国小品文大王——黄小平 入驻“天天美文网”!
      您可以通过QQ发大作给我,谢谢!

      成长之道:当一个人学会了“认怂”,就会开始变得越来越强大


      发布于:2019-4-10 分类:励志美文 阅读:7250人次

      喜欢就分享吧】——0



      ★ 励志语录——生命太过短暂,今天放弃了明天不一定能得到。 ★


      作者:秦桑

        1

        前段时间,陪我妈去菜市场买菜,碰到一个很多年没见过的学长。

        他可以说曾是学校最叛逆的一个男生,染黄发、打耳洞,穿着花哨张扬的衣服,总能一眼就从校园里认出。

        现在他在菜市场开了个档口,要不是我妈提醒,我差点认不出。

        30多岁的他也略微发福,有些显老,一脸讨好的面对顾客的挑挑拣拣,之前的叛逆、张扬、盛气凌人全都不见了,全然变成了一个普通、甚至有些怂的中年人。

        这让我想起韩寒,之前韩寒连发两篇长文,说自己当年退学是件很失败的事情,承认当时不应该退学。

        很多网友吐槽:这还是那个把应试教育抨击的一无是处的韩寒吗?

        韩寒也变成了他自己最讨厌的人了。

        不禁感慨:那些叛逆的80后,已变成很“怂”的中年人了。

        知乎上有个提问,“为何我年龄越大,看周星驰的电影越觉心酸?”

        点赞数最高的答案结尾写道:

        “究其原因,我们都变成了我们当初讨厌的模样。以前觉得把人演成那样很可笑,现在发现人真的就那样。”

        是啊,小时候我们大笑:

        “那个人好像一条狗啊!”

        长大后,我们为人夫、为人妻、为人父母,各自忙于生计,在现实面前,才发现我们都如周星驰电影里的小人物一样,认真且怂的活着。

        曾经的那些所谓的叛逆,早就消失在各自有的生活重担下,消失在每日的奔波里。

        那些贴着“叛逆”标签的年轻人,不约而同的变成了一个个普通到有些“怂”的中年人。

        2

        蒋方舟在《圆桌派》讲过一个故事:

        在一个游戏论坛上,一个80后发了一个“告别贴”,说要告别这个游戏了。

        因为有一天,他玩完游戏,女儿发烧了,带去医院检查发现是白血病,虽然不是很恶性的白血病,是那种投入钱、投入时间就可以治好的那种。

        但在他知道的那一刻,他还是决定把这个游戏删了。

        到了一定年纪才知道,我们已经没有资格叛逆了。

        当年,是驰骋各个游戏战场的少年英雄,别人骂了一句,叫一个帮派的人去战斗,天下之大,任我逍遥,现在怂了,家人的一点风吹草动,都足以让他们战战兢兢。

        现实太现实,以至于必须回到现实中去。

        有个问题问:失恋和失业,哪个更痛苦?

        年轻人会说:失恋。

        中年人则会说:失业!

        年龄越来越大,为了不委屈家人,在职场上,就只能委屈自己。

        曾经谁也不服,怼天怼地,现在也在现实和重要的人面前低头了。

        因为当你发现现实当中,不仅自己很无力,还有比你更无力的人需要去依赖你的时候,就那一刻你知道自己没有资格年轻了,没有资格叛逆了,你必须变老。

        蔡康永说:长大是一件扫兴的事。

        是的,可即便如此,你也只能一个人,在内心的堡垒全部崩塌之后,再努力在瓦砾里重新自我建设。

        城市依旧车水马龙,人来人往,人们行色匆匆,谁管你已经亲手把孩子气的自己杀死在了昨天。

        3

        变怂,不只是实际行动上,人到中年,情绪上也变得“怂”了很多。

        最近新学了一个词叫“懂事崩”,意思是:

        成年人的崩溃也要懂事,不能影响同事,不能影响工作,不能影响家人。

        最好能做到——伺机而崩,收放自如。

        想当年,报刊杂志还在煞有其事地讨论“80后”是怎么样的一代人,“80后”的语言、“80后”的喜恶、“80后”的三观,“80后”的一哭一笑,统统都是无休止的争论。

        而现在,人到中年,不敢引任何人的注意,连崩溃都要偷偷摸摸。

        之前,有个读者跟我倾诉:

        35岁突然失业了,不知道怎么跟家里人交代,为了不让家里人担心。

        每天依旧早出晚归,装作什么也没发生的样子,实际却是为了孩子下个月的生活费到处找工作,急得焦头烂额。

        这位读者说:

        以前觉得怂就是大声哭,长大之后才知道,真正的怂是连哭都不敢。

        满心愁苦却什么也做不了,担心隔壁听见,担心电话那头听见,担心大街上指指点点,担心人问起怎么了,你只能说没事了,不然你还能说什么呢?

        想起作家乐小米说:

        世界上之所以有夜晚,就是留给那些有伤口的人,给他们一片可以独自舔舐伤口的黑,而且不易被发现。

        年轻时,我们敢哭敢笑,好像生怕别人看不到自己,而现在,我们人前开怀,人后崩溃,生怕暴露自己。

        曾经敢哭敢笑的自己,可曾想过有一天,会怂到连哭都不敢。

        4

        年少的时候,常常对怂嗤之以鼻,认为怂就是软弱无能,是对生活的妥协。

        后来才发现,当一个人学会认怂,才开始变得强大。

        电视剧《请回答1988》中有一个桥段:

        宝拉因为参加学生游行,要被两个警察带走,倔强的宝拉一声不吭。

        倒是后来跟过来的妈妈声泪俱下,几乎要下跪去乞求对方网开一面,不要把女儿带走,宝拉对妈妈的“怂”尴尬又恼火。

        等人到中年,宝拉成熟后回忆起来:

        偶尔觉得妈妈很丢人,妈妈连起码的脸面和自尊心都没有呢?

        我都觉得上火,比起她自己,她有更想守护的,那就是我,但当时我并不知道。

        人真正变强大,不是因为守护着自尊心,而是抛开自尊心的时候。

        想起《好先生》有句台词说:

        这个世界上有两种人,一种是为了自己而活,表面看上去张牙舞爪,内心啊,无比脆弱,另一种就是为了别人而活,表面上看是很怂,其实内心比谁都坚强。

        是啊,那些从叛逆到认怂的人,表面上看是变了,变怂了,变成了自己最讨厌的样子,变得唯唯诺诺,变得不够勇敢。

        但其实,只是骨子里多了一份谨慎,只是因为有了比面子更值得他们在乎的东西。

        他们的每一次退让,每一次服软,每一次抛下自尊,其实都藏着沉甸甸的责任和深深的在乎。

        我想,这才是一个人从幼稚到成熟,从羸弱到强大的标志吧!


          【全文完】


      喜欢就分享吧】——0




      标签: 成长 生活 坚强 成功 人文 社会 梦想 读书 职场 生命 人生 心灵 奋斗 感恩 志向 乐观 青春

      评论:

      李志浩
      2019-04-10 18:10
      深受感触。

      ^ O ^ 元芳,你怎么看?

      吉林快三app
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